1. You know it’s way, way more than just a “bad headache.”

not just a headache

2. You heard about how doctors used to drill holes into patients’ heads and thought: “Maybe that’s not a terrible idea…”


3. A bird chirping is not your idea of a pleasant morning.

bird chirping

4. You don’t need a near-death experience to “see the light.”

see the light

5. You don’t need to ride the Tea Cups at Disneyland to feel horribly dizzy.

teacups ride dizzy

6. You’ve spent enough time sitting in dark rooms alone that you feel like a less exciting Batman.


7. You blurt out “No!” before someone can finish asking “Are you sure it’s not —”

are you sure

8. That dog that won’t stop barking next door sounds like it has a gateway to your brain.

dog barking

9. Just looking at a jackhammer makes your head bang.

jack hammer

10. You often struggle to concentrate, but don’t have ADHD.

hard to concentrate

11. There are painkillers, and then there are pills that actually kill the pain.

pain killers

12. Unlike granola, migraines are the worst when they come in clusters.

cluster migraines

13. It’s like giving birth without any joy, just pain.

like giving birth

14. There’s nothing silent about a “silent” migraine.

silent migraines

15. Drinking to dull the pain only makes your head hurt more.

drinking with migraines

16. Coffee is not the best part of waking up.

cup of coffee

17. You know how exhausting it is to run a marathon, even though you’ve never actually run one.

marathon exhaustion

18. Smells can make a severe migraine worse, so don’t even THINK about coming over here with that popcorn or salami, pal.

sensitive to smells

19. Then again, migraines can sometimes make you crave weird food and – Hey, where are you going with that salami?!

crave weird food

20. They sometimes start with a euphoric feeling, which is like being handed a lollipop before being hit by a truck.

euphoric feeling

21. A severe migraine can make you so tired that … oh forget it, I’m too exhausted to think of a punch line.

punch line

22. Your face can go numb when you have a severe migraine, so now your head hurts and you’re drooling. Great.


23. A really bad one can make you turn as pale as a vampire. Only you won’t live forever or run really fast.

pale like a vampire

24. You’re pretty sure a bomb shelter isn’t quiet and dark enough.

bomb shelter

25. Someone has suggested an orgasm as a cure. Nice try, Don Juan. Now pull your pants back up.

don juan

26. A severe migraine can bring on speech disturbances. And your co-worker’s laughter at your sudden Cajun accent really doesn’t help things.

speech disturbances

27. The auras get so bad that you feel like you’re hallucinating. And not in the fun, Burning Man kind of way.


28. Severe migraines can last a week or more, so when you feel one coming on, you know that you can write off the rest of the month.

time off

29. After a really bad migraine, you always suspect another one is hiding right around the corner, like a sneaky, uncool ninja.


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